I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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