We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
