I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
