tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
