Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
