oh god the rape fog is back!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
