We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
