i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
