I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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