I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
