but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
cat food counts as protein by the way
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
