I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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