Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
My penis needs a shock collar
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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