We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
