i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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