we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
