win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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