we have pet lesbian snakes
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize