Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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