When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We just shotgunned beers for America
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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