omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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