He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
