I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
