Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Randomize
