i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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