kristin has been a bad kristin
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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