do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
