he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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