Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just threw up on my dentist
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
