That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize