I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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