Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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