Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
