last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
