Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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