told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
