it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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