he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
