And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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