May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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