Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
