would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Don't tell me you're on acid again
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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