Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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