drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
