wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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