sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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