Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I could fuck to npr.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
