I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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