so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Randomize
