I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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