Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
