he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
