butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize