Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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