After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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