I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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