that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize