I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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