I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Randomize
