im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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