I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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