My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
